This session was the 21st-24th of December 1991, or thereabouts.
I was intensely depressed, on and off, for a number of days after this recording. It was Emily’s first Christmas and we lived in a house in Dalkey with an amazing view of the island and the sea.
Christmas morning I think, It was typically chilly, the house was ancient and precious, and I went to get some clothes.
The door of the above section of the old hotpress had a habit of swinging open and as I stood up and whacked my head off of it, in a rage I slammed it shut. This resulted in a rain of broken glass down on top of me and Emily’s clothes. In that moment I realised that something more was wrong than the typical exhaustion of numerous days and nights in the studio.
I had been deeply affected by listening to this song repeatedly during 3 days.
At that time I cared very very much about the lining up of the 24 track and the lifting of the guitars while not masking the vocals and the getting the bass to sit well and the noise reduction and the levels to tape and the umf off of the kick and the gating of the hats out of the snare and the automating the mutes on the channels for the keeping of the noise floor as low as possible and all that, and then, really, you know..
There were times when it all became “audio material” or some such and it was no longer music.
What had happened to me was that I had spent a considerable amount of time listening to a song about child abuse without reacting emotionally to what I was hearing:
No wonder you suffer
I’m not surprised
under the covers
you’ve been denied.
Everything you thought was real
becomes a lie.
The consequences were, exponentially monumental.
This is probably the best music I ever recorded
The Idiots – Father